Have you ever pointed the finger at someone and said something like, ‘you never do enough for me’ or ‘you never show your love to me’?
You may need to read this entry on ‘The Pointed Finger’.
So you are trying to de-tangle your feelings. You can partly describe how you feel, but you are finding it difficult if not impossible to understand why you are feeling a certain way.
What effects your feelings are your emotions. Emotions are just an instruction that the body gets ‘told’ to ‘act’ out and you get a feeling as a result. A warm flush, a spine tingle, maybe even a shiver. This feeling is quickly followed by a conscious thought. That conscious thought is usually as clear as mud and thus we find it difficult to understand what we are feeling.
Q. I am in a relationship at the moment but am considering leaving. I have one child to my partner, but we just don’t get along anymore. He is nice and all but we just don’t have the spark we had when we got together 3 years ago. Can you help?
A. There are many things you could focus on in this situation. I would like to focus on the spark that has been lost. Do you know where it was lost? Can you define a time when it was lost?
Think about how you were feeling at that point, when you realised it was not there.
When we get together with another person and the relationship becomes intimate, we begin to share our feelings with our partner. The more information we share about our feelings the more intimate our relationship becomes. If this sharing of feelings ceases, either through not listening or not speaking, our relationship slowly becomes less intimate. We can loose the spark.
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