Have you ever pointed the finger at someone and said something like, ‘you never do enough for me’ or ‘you never show your love to me’?

You may need to read this entry on ‘The Pointed Finger’.

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First of all, pick out a tiny spec on the wall closest to you and point at it. Point to that spec and say ‘you just never listen to me’. Now, while you are pointing, take a close look at your hand. You have one finger pointing at the spec on the wall and three others are pointing back at you. You have just been introduced to ‘The Pointed Finger’.

In life we often find plenty of things to blame on other people. Usually it is our spouse or partner who cops most of these errant complaints. The Pointed Finger concept works like this; Whatever aspect I want my fellow to improve in, I must remember that because those three fingers are pointing back at me, I have to improve myself in that particular aspect three fold.

We cannot consciously change the behaviour of our partner, but we can influence them to reflect our Emotions. It took me years to understand that. I was continually thinking to myself that my wife was exhibiting some of the same crap traits as myself and I didn’t like it one little bit. I complained to her in no uncertain terms that she had to change. I was not going to put up with two of us acting like morons. Then came ‘The Pointed Finger’ concept.

Eventually, I realised that she was indeed reflecting my State of Emotions. I set about changing me and now I believe I can say that it was worth every drop of effort. Remembering that our partners and friends reflect our Emotional State can go someway to identifying things we want to change within ourselves. If it gets to the point where you are frustrated with your partners actions and you need to point the finger at them, take a deep breath and realise that it is more likely you that needs to change. It takes far less energy to change yourself than it does to try in vain to change someone else.

Tim Chard